1. Always a soap opera on tv
2. Bird houses for sale
3. Patio furniture in the waiting area
4. Christmas drawing for a 19" television
5. Weird cards for sale
6. Rich ladies with pantyhose under their jeans
Right Now I Am
10 years ago
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
False Alarm
It's not a big secret that I have a rather extensive collection of nightgowns, mostly purchased at Wal-Mart. I often come home from work and spend the evening in one of them. Some are cuteish, most are pretty ugly. That will be important in a minute.
Tonight it's cold, right - we've gotten this pretty sudden swath of cold air from the north and it's not only colder than the average, but the temperature varies by like 30 degrees from when you go to work in the morning to the afternoon when the sun is at its brightest. So I'm not acclimatized to sudden winter yet and I get home tonight feeling tired and sick of everything, so I put on a super comfy outfit: longish pink striped nightgown with POCKETS that zips up and hits just below the knee (Germil has a matching blue one that I purchased for her after surgery - it's that kind of thing) ; really old cream flannel pajama bottoms that are a hair too short and kind of tapered in an unflattering way, and also have red flowers on them; blue fuzzy socks. My hair is out of its ponytail and has a million weird dents and I'm looking settled in for the night.
So I've just sprayed the tub with, like, Easy-Off Bam! and it's all very cat lady, and my cell phone rings - it's the alarm monitoring company, which is never good. Fortunately, it's always been a false alarm, but your reaction is never different despite that - instant panic, drop everything, grab the keys and hop in the car to see if D&A's house is on fire like I've just been told. And the thing I always forget about the fire alarm is that they will always send the Fire Department, because you don't want to risk it with fire, right? So I go wandering around, seeing and smelling no fires, call Robbie & Brian to come over and go behind me, and when I hear sirens in the distance? Yeah, it was for us. I don't need to tell you I wasn't wearing a bra.
Not one but two fire trucks show up, which, if the house had really been on fire, I don't think that the 20 minutes it took them to get here would have really done a whole lot of good. The one from about 6 miles away is volunteer, and the now 24-hour fully staffed one about 3 miles away was off in Carrboro, 15 miles away, fighting an actual fire. How embarrassing.
So 7 guys are standing around in the driveway while the chiefs from both departments check stuff out and realize, of course, it's a false alarm. We stand around the driveway a bit waiting for one dude to fill out the paperwork and the Chief starts chasing Cookie the cat, trying to pet her, since she's crying like crazy, hanging on my super ugly pant leg, looking for food. The cutest of the volunteer fireman says, "I was watching Grey's Anatomy" in that voice where you're meant to feel really bad - which, sorry, cute rednecky fireman - and I hope he has TiVo until I remember that GA is terrible this season and he should quit watching it anyway. And then Chief man starts talking about the garage in Carrboro that's burning down with cars inside and meanwhile I'm standing in the driveway at 9:30 at night in some seriously fugly loungewear, surrounded by country firemen and one whiny kitty.
In high school I would sometimes wear slippers and sweats to school, and I would pretend out loud that it was just for comfort but it was clearly for attention, because it's actually NOT comfortable to wear slippers all day - there's no arch support. The point is sometimes I pretend to be embarrassed for being "caught" in something tragic, because I have this secret little craving to be seen as kooky or crazy or like I just couldn't care less about how I look . . . this is not one of those times. I think I might still be blushing.
Tonight it's cold, right - we've gotten this pretty sudden swath of cold air from the north and it's not only colder than the average, but the temperature varies by like 30 degrees from when you go to work in the morning to the afternoon when the sun is at its brightest. So I'm not acclimatized to sudden winter yet and I get home tonight feeling tired and sick of everything, so I put on a super comfy outfit: longish pink striped nightgown with POCKETS that zips up and hits just below the knee (Germil has a matching blue one that I purchased for her after surgery - it's that kind of thing) ; really old cream flannel pajama bottoms that are a hair too short and kind of tapered in an unflattering way, and also have red flowers on them; blue fuzzy socks. My hair is out of its ponytail and has a million weird dents and I'm looking settled in for the night.
So I've just sprayed the tub with, like, Easy-Off Bam! and it's all very cat lady, and my cell phone rings - it's the alarm monitoring company, which is never good. Fortunately, it's always been a false alarm, but your reaction is never different despite that - instant panic, drop everything, grab the keys and hop in the car to see if D&A's house is on fire like I've just been told. And the thing I always forget about the fire alarm is that they will always send the Fire Department, because you don't want to risk it with fire, right? So I go wandering around, seeing and smelling no fires, call Robbie & Brian to come over and go behind me, and when I hear sirens in the distance? Yeah, it was for us. I don't need to tell you I wasn't wearing a bra.
Not one but two fire trucks show up, which, if the house had really been on fire, I don't think that the 20 minutes it took them to get here would have really done a whole lot of good. The one from about 6 miles away is volunteer, and the now 24-hour fully staffed one about 3 miles away was off in Carrboro, 15 miles away, fighting an actual fire. How embarrassing.
So 7 guys are standing around in the driveway while the chiefs from both departments check stuff out and realize, of course, it's a false alarm. We stand around the driveway a bit waiting for one dude to fill out the paperwork and the Chief starts chasing Cookie the cat, trying to pet her, since she's crying like crazy, hanging on my super ugly pant leg, looking for food. The cutest of the volunteer fireman says, "I was watching Grey's Anatomy" in that voice where you're meant to feel really bad - which, sorry, cute rednecky fireman - and I hope he has TiVo until I remember that GA is terrible this season and he should quit watching it anyway. And then Chief man starts talking about the garage in Carrboro that's burning down with cars inside and meanwhile I'm standing in the driveway at 9:30 at night in some seriously fugly loungewear, surrounded by country firemen and one whiny kitty.
In high school I would sometimes wear slippers and sweats to school, and I would pretend out loud that it was just for comfort but it was clearly for attention, because it's actually NOT comfortable to wear slippers all day - there's no arch support. The point is sometimes I pretend to be embarrassed for being "caught" in something tragic, because I have this secret little craving to be seen as kooky or crazy or like I just couldn't care less about how I look . . . this is not one of those times. I think I might still be blushing.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
I don't really like talking about my flair
I meant to give credit to the person who created that gorgeous girl up there, which I found by searching for "illustration" at Flickr. I don't mean to be coy by reminding you of A Hundred Dresses, a book Mom got me a hundred years ago and which is about imaginary dresses but not really, but because I like to think about Eleanor Estes and how many dresses were in your closet meant then something like how many MySpace friends you have. My confession is that I am one of those adults who started using the internet in my twenties and thinks MySpace is full of pedophiles, and I honestly don't even know what happens on Facebook, even though I laugh knowingly along with the whole room when someone who's only, like 5 years younger makes a joke about it. I am also one of those adults who thinks that living in a universe where so many things that you own, drive, and carry matter in actual life and in a life that is completely text-, email-, and Second Life-based is terrifying in a way that is hard to explain, and which is probably only going to become bigger. Something about that book calms me a bit, so I raise my sad little blog to Eleanor Estes.
Things I Wonder About Instead of Going to Bed at a Decent Hour Even Though I Have a Migraine
1. Does Julianne still go to church? If so, why is she at Hyde and why on earth is she talking on the phone EVER to a gross actor?
2. How do all the starlets get their curls to stay intact? Mine wilt in no less than 2 hours. How much hairspray? What is the magic product? Do I have the wrong curling iron? Are all my hairs going to get cooked off trying to make it work?
3. Are all the LA girls wearing Lincoln Park After Dark on their nails or have they moved on from that and are now wearing something equally mysterious? Is it black? Is it purple? Is it blue?
4. How annoying is it that everyone famous has extensions?
5. Is Britney Spears really conscious or is she taking 13 anti-depressants whose side effects are simply wearing terrible clothing and driving around LA randomly buying weird stuff? And if she doesn't want the paps to be so in her face maybe she could just not drive around LA for a minute?
6. Why won't this migraine go away?
7. How gray is my hair going to be in 5 years and how can I stop it from happening?
8. Do all the normal, nice people I know who live alone do gross things like leave an empty pizza box from literally 3 weeks ago, possibly, on the kitchen table surrounded by myriad other pieces of whatever and say, out loud, "you are so gross" every time they look at it?
9. Seriously, what gives with this headache?
10. How much water does a person actually need during the day and is it true, like Diet Coke says it is, that Diet Coke counts for some of the water?
11. Is my new awesome bag a knockoff?
12. Why am I such an email pack rat? (Current inbox count: 6,029)
13. Am I going to pass out soon? Answer: Yes.
Night night.
2. How do all the starlets get their curls to stay intact? Mine wilt in no less than 2 hours. How much hairspray? What is the magic product? Do I have the wrong curling iron? Are all my hairs going to get cooked off trying to make it work?
3. Are all the LA girls wearing Lincoln Park After Dark on their nails or have they moved on from that and are now wearing something equally mysterious? Is it black? Is it purple? Is it blue?
4. How annoying is it that everyone famous has extensions?
5. Is Britney Spears really conscious or is she taking 13 anti-depressants whose side effects are simply wearing terrible clothing and driving around LA randomly buying weird stuff? And if she doesn't want the paps to be so in her face maybe she could just not drive around LA for a minute?
6. Why won't this migraine go away?
7. How gray is my hair going to be in 5 years and how can I stop it from happening?
8. Do all the normal, nice people I know who live alone do gross things like leave an empty pizza box from literally 3 weeks ago, possibly, on the kitchen table surrounded by myriad other pieces of whatever and say, out loud, "you are so gross" every time they look at it?
9. Seriously, what gives with this headache?
10. How much water does a person actually need during the day and is it true, like Diet Coke says it is, that Diet Coke counts for some of the water?
11. Is my new awesome bag a knockoff?
12. Why am I such an email pack rat? (Current inbox count: 6,029)
13. Am I going to pass out soon? Answer: Yes.
Night night.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Who knew?
Suddenly my family has become bloggers. This is good news. Heff asked for my answers to questions - I kind of love these surveys so we give it a try:
1. Best thing you cooked this last week
This question is weird, but mmmmm, annoying Giada's Shells with Crispy Pancetta and Spinach. You know you just heard her say pancetta with her stupid accent. But they were seriously good.
2. If money, time, and babysitting were no object where would you go?
Definitely France, probably start in Paris but then I'd go South for awhile. I'd spend at least 3 months there. Until I went to Montrèal, I would have been intimidated by the prospect, but now that I realize I can understand what's happening on my college French, I would want to re-learn how to speak. Dreamy.
3. When was the last time you cried?
How embarrassing, but during last week's Friday Night Lights during that gorgeous song playing when Street, Tim Riggins (love!) & Lyla were on the boat.
4. 5 things you were doing this month 10 years ago
Well, this is super depressing. I would like to change number 3 to right now.
(1) I would have been on my mission, in Bluffdale, (2) teaching children of polygamists, (3) living in a basement apartment with weird lion statues on either side of the walkway, (4) getting our Ford Escort stuck down a hill in the snow and tromping in our dresses to a neighbor's house to use the phone and call said polygamist to tow us out with his giant truck, (5) eating pot roast for dinner 7 out of 10 dinner appointments because Peterson's had it on a 2 for 1 special
5. 5 things on my to do list
Is that the existential or the random to do list? We choose random.
(1) Use my real passport and not just the printout fake passport that works for Canada
(2) Learn calligraphy
(3) File the billion papers on my desk
(4) Find a better way to save some money that makes some money
(5) Be more careful, e.g. stop stubbing my toes all the time and breaking things
6. 5 favorite snacks
(1) Diet Coke
(2) Cheetos
(3) Slightly dry Fresno oranges
(4) Peanut M&Ms
(5) Armadillo Grill queso
7. 5 bad habits
(1) Too much TV!
(2) Not filing the billion papers on my desk
(3) Speeding
(4) Sniffing my hair
(5) Clutter, everywhere
8. 5 favorite foods [right this minute]
(1) Armadillo Grill queso
(2) Bruegger's Bagels
(3) Rare steak
(4) Red Vines
(5) Popcorn
9. 5 places I've been [which have awesome bridges]
(1) Montrèal, Quèbec
(2) Trois-Rivières, Quèbec
(3) Portland, Oregon
(4) Linn Cove Viaduct, Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
(5) Lake Ponchartrain, Louisiana
10. 5 favorite memories
(1) That time we went to the canyons somewhere with the Egans and us kids wandered around playing some kind of game where we hid from each other and were sneaky
(2) That time on a really muggy, cicada-filled summer night near Nauvoo, Illinois, driving out to North Carolina with Dad, as I waited for him in the car to check in to the Days' Inn, listening to "Jealous" by Sinead O'Connor on repeat, feeling terrified and excited that I was moving across the country and hoping (correctly, it turns out) that it might end up being really awesome
(3) That time when Louise Plummer said, "You're going to be a writer, right?" going up the stairs to her office in the JKHB
(4) That Christmas Eve where our family sang Stille Nacht, poorly, through lumpy throats, to Martha Lewalder in a sad hospital room
(5) That time when I found a cheap ticket to fly to Vegas the next day, (and had a super awesome boss who let me go) to be picked up by Em & Trav on their way to Fresno, to surprise everyone that I was coming home to see Neck, and Bean went into labor early with James so Em, Trav, Mom & I left Fresno toute de suite to drive to Utah and see that baby and we drove to LA on accident and stopped in St. George at a sicko Days' Inn and slept for very few hours, and Mom worried that Em & Trav were sharing a bed after only dating for a few weeks. Even though it was 2 am. And I think we slept in our clothes.
And PS, somewhere on that list would be your wedding, Bean & Heff, on the Groundhog Day that was the opposite of ugly, because it was the most peaceful and silent the Salt Lake Temple has ever been in my experience as a guest, and even though it was cold and leafless, it was happy and figuratively warm and hopeful in a way that feels different than Spring and Summer at Temple Square, because the grounds weren't perfect in that picturesque way, but they had a spare minimalism that was sort of like just the right amount of white space, if you see what I mean, like you could hear the wind and not the embarrassing wooing of the billion bridesmaids milling around, waiting for the doorways to open up for their sunny photos.
1. Best thing you cooked this last week
This question is weird, but mmmmm, annoying Giada's Shells with Crispy Pancetta and Spinach. You know you just heard her say pancetta with her stupid accent. But they were seriously good.
2. If money, time, and babysitting were no object where would you go?
Definitely France, probably start in Paris but then I'd go South for awhile. I'd spend at least 3 months there. Until I went to Montrèal, I would have been intimidated by the prospect, but now that I realize I can understand what's happening on my college French, I would want to re-learn how to speak. Dreamy.
3. When was the last time you cried?
How embarrassing, but during last week's Friday Night Lights during that gorgeous song playing when Street, Tim Riggins (love!) & Lyla were on the boat.
4. 5 things you were doing this month 10 years ago
Well, this is super depressing. I would like to change number 3 to right now.
(1) I would have been on my mission, in Bluffdale, (2) teaching children of polygamists, (3) living in a basement apartment with weird lion statues on either side of the walkway, (4) getting our Ford Escort stuck down a hill in the snow and tromping in our dresses to a neighbor's house to use the phone and call said polygamist to tow us out with his giant truck, (5) eating pot roast for dinner 7 out of 10 dinner appointments because Peterson's had it on a 2 for 1 special
5. 5 things on my to do list
Is that the existential or the random to do list? We choose random.
(1) Use my real passport and not just the printout fake passport that works for Canada
(2) Learn calligraphy
(3) File the billion papers on my desk
(4) Find a better way to save some money that makes some money
(5) Be more careful, e.g. stop stubbing my toes all the time and breaking things
6. 5 favorite snacks
(1) Diet Coke
(2) Cheetos
(3) Slightly dry Fresno oranges
(4) Peanut M&Ms
(5) Armadillo Grill queso
7. 5 bad habits
(1) Too much TV!
(2) Not filing the billion papers on my desk
(3) Speeding
(4) Sniffing my hair
(5) Clutter, everywhere
8. 5 favorite foods [right this minute]
(1) Armadillo Grill queso
(2) Bruegger's Bagels
(3) Rare steak
(4) Red Vines
(5) Popcorn
9. 5 places I've been [which have awesome bridges]
(1) Montrèal, Quèbec
(2) Trois-Rivières, Quèbec
(3) Portland, Oregon
(4) Linn Cove Viaduct, Blue Ridge Parkway, North Carolina
(5) Lake Ponchartrain, Louisiana
10. 5 favorite memories
(1) That time we went to the canyons somewhere with the Egans and us kids wandered around playing some kind of game where we hid from each other and were sneaky
(2) That time on a really muggy, cicada-filled summer night near Nauvoo, Illinois, driving out to North Carolina with Dad, as I waited for him in the car to check in to the Days' Inn, listening to "Jealous" by Sinead O'Connor on repeat, feeling terrified and excited that I was moving across the country and hoping (correctly, it turns out) that it might end up being really awesome
(3) That time when Louise Plummer said, "You're going to be a writer, right?" going up the stairs to her office in the JKHB
(4) That Christmas Eve where our family sang Stille Nacht, poorly, through lumpy throats, to Martha Lewalder in a sad hospital room
(5) That time when I found a cheap ticket to fly to Vegas the next day, (and had a super awesome boss who let me go) to be picked up by Em & Trav on their way to Fresno, to surprise everyone that I was coming home to see Neck, and Bean went into labor early with James so Em, Trav, Mom & I left Fresno toute de suite to drive to Utah and see that baby and we drove to LA on accident and stopped in St. George at a sicko Days' Inn and slept for very few hours, and Mom worried that Em & Trav were sharing a bed after only dating for a few weeks. Even though it was 2 am. And I think we slept in our clothes.
And PS, somewhere on that list would be your wedding, Bean & Heff, on the Groundhog Day that was the opposite of ugly, because it was the most peaceful and silent the Salt Lake Temple has ever been in my experience as a guest, and even though it was cold and leafless, it was happy and figuratively warm and hopeful in a way that feels different than Spring and Summer at Temple Square, because the grounds weren't perfect in that picturesque way, but they had a spare minimalism that was sort of like just the right amount of white space, if you see what I mean, like you could hear the wind and not the embarrassing wooing of the billion bridesmaids milling around, waiting for the doorways to open up for their sunny photos.
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