Frogs and toads

Before our lovely weekend in La Petite Roche to visit the delicious Charlie Boy, Bean told me she would be checking a huge suitcase full of baby boy clothes (like 4 babies' worth, including the hand-me-downs from her sisters-in-law) sizes newborn up to 12 months. I said, "Aren't you concerned about your next baby not having any clothes then?" And she announced, "Oh, I'm not having another boy," in this voice, like, didn't you get the memo? Then in church we sat behind a cute little family where the mom was sitting alone (we postulated that her husband must be in the bishopric, like the recently-called Heff) with her boy, boy, girl, girl. Her dream family, Bean said. And the new baby girl even had a binkie.

I was thinking of this today while listening to a 2002 This American Life repeat podcast. It's about testosterone, so mostly doesn't apply here, but at the end (starts at minute 46:05) there was this sweet piece from a woman in Canada who has 2 children - a 15-year old boy named Owen and a tween girl named Georgia. She was trying, on the radio and on a road trip, to get to know what Owen was thinking at any given moment, about any given subject. His answer was mostly: "[big pause] I don't really know." His mother can't figure out how to talk to him about anything, and attributes it to the basic difference between teenage boys and girls - or at least her own. She basically says she doesn't really want to put her kids in a stereotype class, except that they kind of do fit the profile, so what do you want? Girls are chatty, given to many details, overanalyzation, and fits of crying. Boys keep most things to themselves, are prone to drama in journals, blogs, songwriting, or their guitars, and find questions about their personal philosophies intrusive and beside the point.

So yeah, that future seems a little grim for a mom of boys like Bean, especially since her boys are little and say things like "wuv you too, Mom." It's hard to predict which of her kids will be the more reserved, sullen one - Buddy is so effusive right now, and funny and smart, that it's hard to imagine him becoming the kind of teenager who won't really talk, but I think I might be able to see Owie that way. Not that he'll be a bad kid - I don't see that - but the quieter one, the one who pushes the boundaries just a bit while Buddy tries to reign him in - that I can see.

Bean's a great mom. Her boys have boundaries, but they are also have wild imaginations and are free to explore lots of things. They are being taught to live a green life, and are in a house with lots of hearty laughter and happy trips to get 3 for $1 doughnuts at Fred Meyer. They are taught how to pray and be kind and have faith, and there's a lot of hope for that kind of childhood. I know I couldn't possibly love them more, and if only I lived closer, I would try to encourage all this goodness the best I could. I can't wait to see how they turn out. It's true that having sisters might be helpful for less sullen teenage years, so I'm all for Bean getting what she wants.