Um, I hate to be picky,

but he's actually not. I'm just saying.

Bummer

This sad thing happened recently: the 3 people who started Television Without Pity have left one year after Bravo bought the site. Back then, they promised nothing would change, but you can't really promise that. Like any good gossip hound, I am searching around for what's behind it all - some of it I can guess, sure, but other blogs are trying to fill in the rest. A commenter said this: "People think you can take something small and beloved and make it big and not lose anything in translation. And it rarely works." Bean wrote about feeling behind technologically, and I feel similarly about my relationship to the blog world. It's so incredibly meta to talk about blogging in a blog, but if you'll just join me in the wormhole for a minute, I'll spit it out. Here's the thing - I haven't lost touch with reality to the degree that this should be meaningful in the way that real, sad, horrible things are meaningful and invite reflection, but I have a long history reading stuff on this site, which I discovered through Entertainment Weekly like in 2000 when it was called Mighty Big TV and did like 10 tv shows. That was its second evolution, from Dawson's Wrap, which was I'm sure fabulous and awesome and in the dark ages of the internet, back when blogs were in their infancy and people were mostly on dial-up. Which all sounds so corny and old-mannish and, again, I know it's not actually significant except it is, sort of, in the newish world of getting information through blogs, and how that world looks too old for its age, like a trashy LA girl who tans too much and eats a Triscuit a week, and in the emerging reality within that world that corporations show up really late to every party, and when they do they are always a buzzkill, even though the people within them don't all mean to be.

I first visited them because good writers - most of whom were/are freelance or even employed full-time as writers - write funny recaps of television shows, with lots of editorial commentary and not like "I really didn't like it when Haley said she wanted a divorce from Nathan. Booo!" like they do over at TVGuide.com, but funny, sarcastic, intelligent jokes of the more highbrow and, it must be said, snobby variety. Which, I'm okay with that, even if I have to look up a bunch of the allusions on Wikipedia. I am aware there are conflicting ideas (even in my own head) about if this is awesome or a supreme waste of time, but I love tv shows and I love reading about them. It enhances the experience, just like reading Dahlia Lithwick enhances the experience of examining the rulings of the Supreme Court . . . well, okay, that's a stretch. I can't really justify doubling my television consumption in this way, so I just operate under the assumption that it's fine. Ish. Except now it's all changing. Like most changes, I don't take it well.

We have a whole new ballgame

My friend Al sent me this link, because I missed the speech. She suggested that it was one of the most moving and thoughtful speeches ever made on the issue of race in America, and I agree. The offscreen audience seemed to sit so rapt I forgot there even was an audience until halfway through and they burst into applause over one of the more stump-speechy phrases, and they let a few more bursts slip after that. It is honest and forthright about his relationship to the many races in his own heritage, and a real, non-political response to the recent diatribe of his pastor. There is an honest assessment of racism as it's seen from both sides, and gives a non-pandering voice to each perspective. I have written before that I haven't fully drunk the Obama kool-aid (and he mentions some of what he represents politically near the end, in terms of racism - it's still not pandering, but it's where he and I diverge) but among the many compliments I can pay him, he is a wonderful orator. There is a lot to say and ponder about this topic, and I support Obama's taking up that banner. John Stewart apparently said "on a Tuesday at 11 a.m., a Presidential candidate actually spoke to Americans about race as though we were adults." It is a very important speech for this historical election, and probably beyond.

Hee hee

Stay-at-home moms/wives should totally copy the email signature of this girl I know. It goes like this (subbing my name for hers):

Alitris
An Helpmeet

Draggin' all them bags like that

I love this new bag in Bean's store. So summery and beachy!

Celebrities: They're just like us!

Spotted: John & Elizabeth Edwards outside their country compound. Mrs. Edwards was perched on a berm doing something to their fence while the Senator stood precariously close to Old Greensboro Road wearing shorty Duke blue shorts and a Carolina blue t-shirt, watching his wife. Not really helping, though. They have a Gator, and the Senator has chicken legs. XOXO

Let's just watch that again

If you are in my family, this will make you sad

How did they give up that pool? Sigh.

Caliente Pocket

You guys, I totally ate a Hot Pocket for dinner tonight. I know, really gross. Instead of judging me, watch this.

Frogs and toads

Before our lovely weekend in La Petite Roche to visit the delicious Charlie Boy, Bean told me she would be checking a huge suitcase full of baby boy clothes (like 4 babies' worth, including the hand-me-downs from her sisters-in-law) sizes newborn up to 12 months. I said, "Aren't you concerned about your next baby not having any clothes then?" And she announced, "Oh, I'm not having another boy," in this voice, like, didn't you get the memo? Then in church we sat behind a cute little family where the mom was sitting alone (we postulated that her husband must be in the bishopric, like the recently-called Heff) with her boy, boy, girl, girl. Her dream family, Bean said. And the new baby girl even had a binkie.

I was thinking of this today while listening to a 2002 This American Life repeat podcast. It's about testosterone, so mostly doesn't apply here, but at the end (starts at minute 46:05) there was this sweet piece from a woman in Canada who has 2 children - a 15-year old boy named Owen and a tween girl named Georgia. She was trying, on the radio and on a road trip, to get to know what Owen was thinking at any given moment, about any given subject. His answer was mostly: "[big pause] I don't really know." His mother can't figure out how to talk to him about anything, and attributes it to the basic difference between teenage boys and girls - or at least her own. She basically says she doesn't really want to put her kids in a stereotype class, except that they kind of do fit the profile, so what do you want? Girls are chatty, given to many details, overanalyzation, and fits of crying. Boys keep most things to themselves, are prone to drama in journals, blogs, songwriting, or their guitars, and find questions about their personal philosophies intrusive and beside the point.

So yeah, that future seems a little grim for a mom of boys like Bean, especially since her boys are little and say things like "wuv you too, Mom." It's hard to predict which of her kids will be the more reserved, sullen one - Buddy is so effusive right now, and funny and smart, that it's hard to imagine him becoming the kind of teenager who won't really talk, but I think I might be able to see Owie that way. Not that he'll be a bad kid - I don't see that - but the quieter one, the one who pushes the boundaries just a bit while Buddy tries to reign him in - that I can see.

Bean's a great mom. Her boys have boundaries, but they are also have wild imaginations and are free to explore lots of things. They are being taught to live a green life, and are in a house with lots of hearty laughter and happy trips to get 3 for $1 doughnuts at Fred Meyer. They are taught how to pray and be kind and have faith, and there's a lot of hope for that kind of childhood. I know I couldn't possibly love them more, and if only I lived closer, I would try to encourage all this goodness the best I could. I can't wait to see how they turn out. It's true that having sisters might be helpful for less sullen teenage years, so I'm all for Bean getting what she wants.

How long halt ye between two opinions?

I am terribly fond of our FedEx man, Gene. He's from eastern NC and has that accent - a more country version of Governor Easley's. (Not to go totally off the rails, but the dialect has a lot of dropped end Rs and the O is distinctive, as compared to something of the deeper South - Georgia or Alabama, which you might hear in Southwestern NC. People outside NC would more often imitate the latter accent, I think - it's the one you hear in movies - but the Eastern NC dialect is really hard to imitate. I can't make my mouth do it, but I love to hear it.)

Anyway, I know a lot about Gene, which is sometimes funny: he's divorced, has a daughter named Lauren who's 15 and eats like a bird, his ex-wife's name is Kim, Lauren and her mother have a dog that loves him more than either of them, he drives an Acura TL, and he eats at Bojangle's and Subway almost every day. Also, he gets up at 4:30 am because he hates to be rushed in the morning, and works 12 hours most days.

Once he told me the story of his divorce, which was on account of his wife and mother-in-law (and her no-good husband) not telling him that they had put his daughter in daycare and when he found out and went to pick her up from said daycare, nobody knew who he was because of the secret. And the no-good husband showed up and raised some kind of a stink, and right about there in the story, Gene said to me, shaking his head, "And he died not too long later. He got his due, because God don't like ugly."

So the other day he came in all excited because he had just been to John & Elizabeth Edwards's new country estate, which is about 10ish miles away from here, to make a delivery. He normally has a code to enter the gate but that day there were all kinds of people and cars and Mrs. Edwards' assistant came out to meet him because the bodyguard-types wouldn't let him through the gate.

Gene told me, "I asked her, 'is somebody here? Is it Obama?' and she said, 'I'm not supposed to tell you,' but in that way where she's basically tellin' you. So, yeah, Obama was over there, I guess to get Edwards' endorsement." He shook his head and said, a little quieter and sort of nervous, "You know he's a Muslim?"

I think I said something enlightened like, "Yeah, but not that kind of Muslim, so I don't think it makes much difference." Not that I was necessarily even right, because publicly his religious affiliations are a little ambiguous anyway, and maybe they're also ambiguous in his own heart, which shouldn't be necessarily problematic for a Presidential candidate. I can believe that people think that any past or present Muslim association matters but it felt weird that Gene was telling me that, like, keep it to yourself because you never know who you're talking to. In my experience, though, this is representative of how people with good Southern manners talk about politics and religion - you say your opinion quickly, so as not to invite discussion, and move on to a less controversial topic. Don't so much discuss as state, so we know what we think but we don't need to talk about it.

But the issue of religion is always coming up in elections. I am obviously concerned about my own spiritual life and am deeply connected to one religion, but had I decided to vote for Mitt Romney (had he survived) it would have been based on my generally Republican sympathies on the causes of federalization and finance, not because he is Mormon. Plenty of people wouldn't have voted for him for that reason (plenty of people didn't, probably). Crap like this will always be the problem/blessing of democracy, but elections and their ensuing presidencies always exist in this weird Bermuda Triangle of separation of church and state/"In God We Trust"/judge them on their policies, not their religions/everyone who runs the country should be Christian. It's so complicated. I'm not even totally sure where I land, as far as how this stuff affects my vote, but publicly the noise is one doozy of a double-standard.

All told, it actually kind of surprises me that Obama has lasted as long as he has, given that people in America seem intent on evenutally dismissing candidates for the ways in which they are not exactly like every other politician. It is a logical conclusion that we have Hillary, a totally known (and therefore wholly unappealing) commodity, and McCain, also known, whose momentum seems to be based on war talk. Apparently these two don't have any secret religious feelings that might influence their decisions in office, and look safer and in keeping with political status quo. But Obama's riding great momentum with the "change" campaign, which Democrats and moderates and plenty of Republicans are totally on board with, and he is young, charismatic, and interesting, and a great orator.

But I'm not a Democrat, is the problem, and Obama's whole deal is pretty un-Republican, not that platforms totally dictate what happens in the 4 - 8 years, but he seems proactive and aggressive and like he will at least really try to make things happen quickly. I'm not saying we don't need a change, because we do, but if it comes to Obama and McCain, boy, I just don't know. I know I have many friends who are pained by that, but I have always liked McCain and I think he would be a fine president. Not a great one, but a fine one. At least this time we have viable candidates, versus the depressing outcome of last election's lesser of two crap piles option, but I feel compelled by things, people, speeches, YouTube, his pretty, pretty campaign graphic, to like Obama more. But still, days later, nothing.

Well, not nothing. But not something.

If you are in my family, this will make you very happy, Part 3

I'll take Fictional Fidos for $500

If you are in my family, this will make you very happy, Part 2

"I kind of like airline food."

I love this commercial

Really, I have no use for the NBA. It bugs me when players go pro before finishing college, because even those whose life goals wouldn't normally have been pursuing a degree at least have something to fall back on when they tear their ACL. It has to be better to have a BS in General Studies with a 2.1 GPA than sit on the bench for a year some team in Spain, right? And the NBA is the opposite of a fostering environment, and it doesn't really look like there's much love for the sport unless you play for one of the 3 winning teams or are an amoral superstar, and by then you've sold your soul anyway. Ultimately the whole drafting experience is too Pied Piperish for my taste.

Despite that, I am totally crazy about this commercial. Whoever made this one should have made all the commercials for the Super Bowl, because they had about a 6% rate of funny/awesome. Here's what I love about it: Dwyane Wade is so darling, in spite of his NBA-sized ego, the sound mixing is perfect, the shadowing on his face looks so good in black and white, and the musicians harmonize with the spoken note of his "Waaaaaaade." It helps that his name is well-suited to this kind of thing; you're not making the same commercial for Andrei Kirilenko, I'm saying.

Even people like me, who only watch competitive sports in March and when Carolina plays, know there is something just a little magical about the echo in an empty arena. When Neck (my misguided Duke fan of a brother) was here a few years ago and we went over to Cameron and somehow got inside without anyone bugging us, even I was caught up for a second in the feeling of that still, high-ceilinged place. And heaven knows I have nothing but fire and loathing for what goes on in there when it's full.

Maybe it's tonight's win talking, but I could watch this thing all day.

If you are in my family, this will make you very happy, Part 1

"It's tucked into my socks!"

Please go here and watch. And laugh and laugh.