She's never been taught to do

I'm in post-holiday depression because I live in a constant state of this equation:

Desperate Love for my home in NC ÷ Wishing for more quality time with my family X hating the plane rides ÷ Where would I live and what would I do for a career ÷ it costs a lot of money to move = Serious case of ambiguity

Then I saw Junebug on Lifetime yesterday and this scene perfectly embodies the things I love about not just living in NC, but living in Chatham County, in this neighborhood, in this culture, something I didn't know I would come to love at all. The movie was filmed in Winston-Salem, but that Fellowship Hall could be in any one of these country churches 3 miles from my house and the people and the preacher capture this place with such vivid clarity, it takes my breath away.

[edit: rats, someone took down the video. It was probably copyrighted. I can't recommend that you rent the movie because it's rated R but if you ever catch it on Lifetime, you'll know the part.]

Eventually, I am going to have to make that choice - I will either sacrifice closeness with my niece and nephews or I will have to leave this home for a very unknown career and friendship trajectory. It feels big; I hope it will feel big until it doesn't, at which point I'll have to leave it behind.